Friday, May 24, 2013

(Least) Favorite Things Friday

In honor of the fact that it is FOURTY-EIGHT DEGREES FAHRENHEIT in NYC on May 24th, I'm doing a Least Favorite Things Friday, as opposed to the typical Favorite Things Friday.

Here are my least favorite programs from the past season:


While Tom Z has blatantly stated that he doesn't give a flying crap about choreography, this is quite possibly the worst program one of his student's has ever done. His complete lack of anything resembling actual choreography (someone please explain to me how he got a 7.39 for Choreography - I would give it a 3), utter reliance on crossovers, and general hockey player-like/truckdriver skating leave many bewildered as to how exactly he managed to beat the always-stunning Jeremy Abbott at Nationals. Perhaps Max should go back to hockey, which based on is skating, is where he belongs.


Heads up Gracie: in case nobody mentioned it to you, Life is Beautiful is a bittersweet Holocaust movie, not a Disney beauty pageant movie. With that knowledge, please inject that story into your program, and take out the peppy Kimmie Meissner-arm-waving. Another program like this next season will not get you a World or Olympic medal.


I just cannot deal with the arm-waving.


As Phil Hersh said, "they skated to the worst ever cover of Bolero." And as Dave Lease said, "This Bolero performance was the trashiest, tackiest thing I have ever seen."


Oh man (or Molly, as I should probably say). This takes the cake for the absolute worst program for the 2012-2013 season. I just don't even know where to begin. The outfits - please explain how they match the music. And as one poster on GoldenSkate said, what is this team's obsession with getting shot? Nikita shot Elena on their way to a JWC in 2010, and now Nikita gets shot by the music. The dialogue is just bizarre, the choreography is literally them acting out the words. Oh Molly. Elena and Nikita, if you even want to think about the Olympic bronze medal, I have two words for you: LEAVE. MOROZOV. And go back to Zhulin. Remember that Don Quixote he did for you? Someone like that would go over VERY WELL, especially after this notorious mess. As Dave Lease said, the only bright spot is that each performance of this mess is followed by an argument by the British Eurosport commentators, since one of them actually thinks that this is good.

Enjoy your Memorial Day weekend!